In All Seriousness

okay, so not to be all american and celebrity obsessed and stuff, but i have something to say about this heath ledger business.

*ahem*

what the fuck is wrong with the people in this country/world?! a man died and people are treating it like a fucking freak show, circus. it's disgusting. what's even more disgusting is the people who went to stand outside the apartment he passed away in, hoping to get a glimpse of a body bag. what for?! to say that you saw a bag containing the expired body of a young man whom you didn't know? also, you know what else i find mildly disturbing? that people who didn't know him at all probably found out about his death before his family. before his child. before people who actually knew him and are actually experiencing tremendous grief right now.

and this business with all the tabloids--both online and print--giving minute by minute "updates" about his death and regurgitated speculations as to how exactly he died...? it's fucking despicable. i'm not going to even try and lie--i read the stuff that was being posted on the internet on the day of his death and i've read stuff since then. but with each entry and article i read, i become more and more grossed out. and mad.

why does it matter HOW he died? especially why does it matter to people who don't know him? who will just forget about him by next week, once the tabloids have something more exciting to talk about (probably the death of britney spears or something).

i'm taking this personally. i really am. this whole thing reminds me of something that happened in my life, several years ago. a close friend passed away unexpectedly, suddenly and when the people in his life of whom he meant something to went to his home (where he had passed) to be with each other. to provide comfort to each other, to his family, to him. and i remember standing outside of the house, chain smoking and crying and seeing neighbors who didn't mean anything to him standing on the edges of their driveways, waiting expectantly for something. what? i'm not sure. but they were standing and staring. and huddling together, whispering speculations of what had happened.

and then a few days before his viewing, i stumbled upon a blog some girl who sort of knew him, but was by no means close to him, had written about his passing. she claimed, with assuredness that he had overdosed on coke, and used his story as a "warning" to her friends.

at this point in time toxicology tests had not come back, nor was this girl with him when he had passed. she was merely reciting heresay, rumors...as tend to happen in a small town. or in a huge world obsessed with the lives of celebrities and tragedy.

the thing about death is that it's final. when it happens, someone, somewhere is affected by it. someone is grieving over it. it means something to someone, and it probably is making someone's life incredibly difficult. it's never a happy thing. ever. someone was sad when hitler died. someone was sad when saddam hussein was executed. death--whether expected or not--is a jarring reality that is sometimes difficult to swallow.

i sort of feel that when people die, it should be the one and only time in their lives that they really should be honored in some way. they should be able to pass on with dignity behind them. at least for a while.

why does it matter how someone died? all that matters is that they're dead and that the people who knew them will never see them in the here-and-now again. the chance is gone. all that matters is that it happened. and that at one time, they were alive.

i'm disgusted by allegations of drug use and rehab stints and "sources" giving up "information" about a time they saw a person who has passed away do something undesirable or illegal or unhealthy or untrue. it's disgusting that anyone would even for a second think about spending money to purchase a video from 2 years ago that allegedly depicts the deceased being at a party with drugs (the video shows no drug use by ledger, nor does it show anything incriminating on his behalf). thankfully, someone had some fucking couth and the shows that were set to air this video have sinced pulled the video from airplay.

the trailer that Entertainment Tonight was playing for the video says something about "clues to his death!" and then shows pictures of John Belushi and the hotel where the "party" from two years prior had taken place. 2 YEARS PRIOR. because someone's presence at a party from 2 YEARS PRIOR will absolutely give clues as to how a young man passed away.

and may i reiterate: IT DOES NOT FUCKING MATTER HOW HE PASSED AWAY.

i'm grossed out that i even am paying enough attention to write this blog.

i just really think that our culture has somehow erased the lines of privacy and decency and thinks that because it sees pictures of someone "being normal" in some tabloid magazine, that somehow they should be privy to the extremely intimate details of their life or death.

just stop.

Spitting Mad

i left work early today because i am sick. so i walked my ailing butt 6 blocks in the rain and got on the train and the only seat was next to a dirty man who smelled of hotdogs. anyhow, i sat down and at the next stop, some old, filthy lady who reeked of alcohol and was screaming in a mixture of polish and english (the only words i could make out were "God" "Fuck" and "It's your fault") at some young latina girl. the latina girl walked to the back of the train and got away from her and the crazy lady continued yelling. then she started yelling at me. i was staring out the window, ignoring her. she walked away a little bit, yelling about "God...Fuck...It's all your fault!" and i thought i was in the clear.

i wasn't.

she came back to me, yelling some more.

and then she spit on me.

You're a Fucking Idiot, or Why I Refuse to Talk About the War

so, umm, this is the second installment of what i'm labeling my "Dumb Assholes" post. basically, it comes when i get stupid fucking forwards or read idiotic myspace bulletin.

this time i got a post about "The Troops"--one i've seen before, and find doubly infuriating this time around. the post is (for lack of a better word) propaganda, most certainly put together by raging republicans. the kind who hunt, wave confederate flags, say things like, "These colors don't run!" "Git 'er done!", and think Jeff Foxworthy is hilarious. (btw, he's not.)

anywho, the posts has a variety of pictures depicting soldiers and such, and between each picture it says things like, "You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.He doesn't get to eat today," "Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes. He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean," "You see only what the media wants you to see.He sees the broken bodies lying around him," "You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting," "You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded," and my personal fave, "You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.He still fights for your right to wear that shirt."

yeesh. where do i even begin...?

1. i don't have a maid. i don't make my bed but i do wash my own clothes. that's a dumb fucking sentence. at least have it make sense. i'm willing to bet that the majority of people in this world (especially those who are 'anti-war') probably don't have maids who make their bed and wash their clothes everyday. who the eff are we? a bunch of little orphan annies, living in daddy warbucks mansion?

2. while i agree that yes, the media (both right and left winged) chooses what to show. but the broken bodies? umm, don't mean to sound callous, but like...isn't the US some of the folks breaking said bodies? and p.s., the US isn't exactly an angelic, play by the rules kinda nation...

3. yes i criticize my government, and yes i'm pretty much married to the notion that i do not believe that war (especially wars started on false information) is really helpful in solving much. i think violence perpetuates violence and when the violence is more or less created because of a desire to democratize, westernize, or "civilize" another culture, it's sort of losing battle. and dumb. don't forget dumb.

4. i'm not sure i've ever really heard a joke about the war. nor have i really heard people making fun of soldiers. this may be naiive of me, but i think that since vietnam, we as a society have grown a bit, matured a (little) bit, and wised up a little bit. i'm not sure i've ever heard anyone making fun of a soldier. i think most people (and again, i may be entirely naiive on this right here) definitely make fun of the president (he's borderline retarded, i mean...) and definitely joke about him, but all in all realize (except for a handful of raging radical idiots) that the soldiers did not declare this war, they are merely pawns in an elaborate game of Stratego, and simply doing what their jobs are. no one faults them for that.

5. the funny thing about all of this is that what we're allegedly war-ing over is to bring democracy to these countries that we're ravaging and raping of culture and such. one of the wonderful things about democracy is the right to free speech, the right to protest, and the right to *gasp* think for oneself! so if someone were wearing a "Don't support the troops" t-shirt (again, a stupid fucking comment), that's their M.O. that's what we're allegedly fighting for Iraquis, Iranians, Afghanis, and all of the other "uncivilized" countries' consitutents, to have. right? so they'll be able to enjoy the benefits of a democratic society. including free speech. which is essentially what those t-shirts are. you follow?

in sum, i'd like to once again state that i am adamantly anti-war, adamantly anti-bush (the prez and the body part), and adamantly pro-troop. anti-war does not equal anti-troop. jesus fucking christ.

yeesh.

Learn It. Live It. Love It.

srsly. this means you, mr. man-who-keeps-clearly-open-mouth-sneezing-without-attempting-any-sort-of-germ-spreading-prevention-on-the-other-side-of-the-cubicle-wall-from-me.

Because Good Christians Hate People Who Aren't Like Them and Love Hypocrisy

ugh. i'm thisclose to having my head explode.

myspace, the scion of idiocy (don't get me wrong, i'm a slave to mine), has once again offered a dumbass whore the opportunity to repost a ridiculous "bulletin" waxing philosophical about showing contempt for those who are not "good christians." today, i logged in and saw this post (verbatim as it appeared on the "bulletin", including headline):

"Subject:
PLEASE READ, WHY NOT TO VOTE OBAMA

Body: Who is Barack Obama?

Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black MUSLIM from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white ATHEIST from Wichita, Kansas.Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii.

When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya. His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a RADICAL Muslim from Indonesia.When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocate to Indonesia. Obama attended a MUSLIM school in Jakarta. He also spent two years in a Catholic school. Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is quick to point out that, 'He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school. Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that that he is not a radical.

Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returnedto Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his son's education.

Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta.

Wahabism is the RADICAL teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world. Since it is politically expedient to be a CHRISTIAN when seeking major public office in the United States, Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background. ALSO, keep in mind that when he was sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead the Koran.

Barack Hussein Obama will NOT recite the Pledge of Allegiance norwill he show any reverence for our flag. While others place their hands over their hearts, Obama turns his back to the flag and slouches.

Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential candidacy. The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside out, what better way to start than at the highest level - through the President of the United States, one of their own!!!!

Please forward to everyone you know.

Would you want this man leading our country?......NOT ME!!!"

so, umm...i love the captialization of sensationalist words such as MUSLIM! and RADICAL! and ATHEIST! because, you know, muslims and atheists are radical and most definitely will be the downfall of this world. i mean, duh. i also enjoy the emphasis on his parent's divorce and the fact that he went to muslim AND catholic schools. gosh, barack! pick one and stick with it! but make sure you pick catholic school, because a muslim education is inferior and most definitely indicates that you will get run for president, get elected, and then wage Jihad on the western world. FROM THE INSIDE OUT. and god--err rather, allah--help you if you choose to take your oath on the book that is most significant to your religion, rather than that of your constituents.

also, one thing this post fails to mention, but we should all "remain alert concering his expected presidential candidacy" that this man.is.black. O.M.G!!!!!!! a black muslim who has experienced both muslim and catholic schooling and who has also had experiences in christianity as well as atheism?!?!?!

i'm not sure, but this sorta sounds to me like a pretty well-rounded, open minded upbringing...and sorta sounds like the kinda thing that "we", as americans are supposed to benefit from...and what is supposed to make this country so great...wasn't it founded by those who wanted to escape religious persecution...?

i don't know about you, but i think we should fear christians more than muslims or atheists...or black people.

interestingly enough, the good christian girl who posted this is an unwed mother who is estranged from her baby daddy. not that i'm judging. but like, she's a great example of many christians who are living in pretty glass houses and don't really understand the consequences behind hurling boulders...