*ahem*
what the fuck is wrong with the people in this country/world?! a man died and people are treating it like a fucking freak show, circus. it's disgusting. what's even more disgusting is the people who went to stand outside the apartment he passed away in, hoping to get a glimpse of a body bag. what for?! to say that you saw a bag containing the expired body of a young man whom you didn't know? also, you know what else i find mildly disturbing? that people who didn't know him at all probably found out about his death before his family. before his child. before people who actually knew him and are actually experiencing tremendous grief right now.
and this business with all the tabloids--both online and print--giving minute by minute "updates" about his death and regurgitated speculations as to how exactly he died...? it's fucking despicable. i'm not going to even try and lie--i read the stuff that was being posted on the internet on the day of his death and i've read stuff since then. but with each entry and article i read, i become more and more grossed out. and mad.
why does it matter HOW he died? especially why does it matter to people who don't know him? who will just forget about him by next week, once the tabloids have something more exciting to talk about (probably the death of britney spears or something).
i'm taking this personally. i really am. this whole thing reminds me of something that happened in my life, several years ago. a close friend passed away unexpectedly, suddenly and when the people in his life of whom he meant something to went to his home (where he had passed) to be with each other. to provide comfort to each other, to his family, to him. and i remember standing outside of the house, chain smoking and crying and seeing neighbors who didn't mean anything to him standing on the edges of their driveways, waiting expectantly for something. what? i'm not sure. but they were standing and staring. and huddling together, whispering speculations of what had happened.
and then a few days before his viewing, i stumbled upon a blog some girl who sort of knew him, but was by no means close to him, had written about his passing. she claimed, with assuredness that he had overdosed on coke, and used his story as a "warning" to her friends.
at this point in time toxicology tests had not come back, nor was this girl with him when he had passed. she was merely reciting heresay, rumors...as tend to happen in a small town. or in a huge world obsessed with the lives of celebrities and tragedy.
the thing about death is that it's final. when it happens, someone, somewhere is affected by it. someone is grieving over it. it means something to someone, and it probably is making someone's life incredibly difficult. it's never a happy thing. ever. someone was sad when hitler died. someone was sad when saddam hussein was executed. death--whether expected or not--is a jarring reality that is sometimes difficult to swallow.
i sort of feel that when people die, it should be the one and only time in their lives that they really should be honored in some way. they should be able to pass on with dignity behind them. at least for a while.
why does it matter how someone died? all that matters is that they're dead and that the people who knew them will never see them in the here-and-now again. the chance is gone. all that matters is that it happened. and that at one time, they were alive.
i'm disgusted by allegations of drug use and rehab stints and "sources" giving up "information" about a time they saw a person who has passed away do something undesirable or illegal or unhealthy or untrue. it's disgusting that anyone would even for a second think about spending money to purchase a video from 2 years ago that allegedly depicts the deceased being at a party with drugs (the video shows no drug use by ledger, nor does it show anything incriminating on his behalf). thankfully, someone had some fucking couth and the shows that were set to air this video have sinced pulled the video from airplay.
the trailer that Entertainment Tonight was playing for the video says something about "clues to his death!" and then shows pictures of John Belushi and the hotel where the "party" from two years prior had taken place. 2 YEARS PRIOR. because someone's presence at a party from 2 YEARS PRIOR will absolutely give clues as to how a young man passed away.
and may i reiterate: IT DOES NOT FUCKING MATTER HOW HE PASSED AWAY.
i'm grossed out that i even am paying enough attention to write this blog.
i just really think that our culture has somehow erased the lines of privacy and decency and thinks that because it sees pictures of someone "being normal" in some tabloid magazine, that somehow they should be privy to the extremely intimate details of their life or death.
just stop.
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